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Author: John Wijngaards

tina meditation my dream

my dream

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 15

the woman fled to the desert
where she finds a place prepared for her by God
to be nourished there
for twelve hundred and sixty days (Revelation 12,6)
words from a far past, so often heard
so frequently read
as if it were a different reality
until I suddenly see how the present,
in spite of all misery and powerlessness,
is growing into this apocalypse

and it seems that now the counting of times in revelation
has come to pass,
that if we women want to free ourselves
from our life in the desert
we will have to find our own way
with creativity and dynamic energy
to a new personal experience of God
after ‘one time and two times and a half time’ (Revelation 12,14b)

as for me, that moment has come

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

Note – Chapter 12 in the book of Revelations describes the struggle between the woman and the dragon, a struggle during which the woman eventually escapes from the dragon. Tina obviously applies this to herself.

Revelation 12,5-6 reads: “The woman gave birth to a son, a male child, who ‘will rule all the nations with an iron sceptre.’ And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.”

The text in Revelations 12,13-14 reads: “When the dragon saw that he had been hurled to the earth, he pursued the woman who had given birth to the male child. The woman was given the two wings of a great eagle, so that she might fly to the place prepared for her in the wilderness, where she would be taken care of for a time, two times and half a time, out of the serpent’s reach.”

MEDITATIONS

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

Tina meditation phallus worship

phallus worship

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 17

every time again confused spirals of thought
from a complacent church leadership
collide ferociously against my indignant soul
deeming themselves infallible and showing no scruples
this leadership announces God’s predilection for the male
a male ‘God has created like himself’

my fantasy and my feeling of wounded self-respect create an image
— in analogy to the biblical golden calf —
of the pope devoutly kneeling before the gilded phallus
as counter pole I see my own experience of God
it rehabilitates my relationship to ‘God–with-us’

in creative freedom I picture to myself from biblical texts
how God’s presence shows itself
hidden at plain day light in a column of cloud
as a column of fire in the darkness of night

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

Biblical Note 

God led his people out of Egypt through the desert: “The LORD went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud to lead them the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night. He did not deprive his people from the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night.” (Exodus 13,21-22)

But Aaron made a golden calf for the people. “The Lord said to Moses, ‘Your people, whom you brought up out of Egypt, have become corrupt. They have made themselves an idol cast in the shape of a calf. They bow down to it and sacrifice to it and say, ‘This is your god, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt’.” (Exodus 32,7-8)

MEDITATIONS

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

Tina meditation phallus worship

phallus worship

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 17

every time again confused spirals of thought
from a complacent church leadership
collide ferociously against my indignant soul
deeming themselves infallible and showing no scruples
this leadership announces God’s predilection for the male
for a male ‘God – He – has created like himself’

my fantasy and my feeling of wounded self-respect created an image
— in analogy to the biblical golden calf —
of the pope devoutly kneeling before the gilded phallus

as counter pole I see my own experience of God
it rehabilitates my relationship to ‘God–with-us’
in creative freedom I picture to myself from biblical texts
how God shows Herself present
hidden in plain day light
as a column of cloud
as a column of fire in the darkness of night

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

—

MEDITATIONS

  • the face of time

  • I accuse woman

  • past present future

  • phallus worship

  • my dream

—

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in a high-profile court case. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

Tina meditation Past Present Future

past present future

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 14

look at my profound heart-felt
aspirations
rooted in social and religious values
aiming at a happy future
for everything and everyone . . .

then look at the reality:
a rudderless humanity
in a neglected and violent environment

yet, with a right to life and to survival
for all —
so much remains to be done

dear man, will we together
take this task on our shoulders?

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

Historical note. Tina was fighting for equality in the Church. At the same time she became keenly aware of the much wider issue of gender inequality on a global scale.  Many human beings still live sub-human lives. The natural world faces enormous challenges. She hopes that men and women can solve these issues together, with recognition of genuinely equal responsibilities. In her painting she depicts on the left Adam and Eve in paradise (the past), the couple in the middle still shows a dominant male (the present), the crows on the right are future generations.

MEDITATIONS

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

tina meditation I accuse woman

I accuse women

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 11

 

we allowed it to happen
that men took charge of our earth,
we women allowed ourselves
to be robbed of our original task
by a lack of self respect and laziness
we women dethroned ourselves

we allowed it to happen
that we women naively played helplessness
we hid ourselves
behind the cloak of imagined inferiority

but the commission we received
has never been withdrawn
we, women and men, have to take charge
protect and maintain the earth
that was entrusted to both of us

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

MEDITATIONS

  • the force of time
  • I accuse women
  • I accuse men
  • my inner struggle
  • past present future
  • my dream
  • and God saw that it was very good
  • phallus worship
  • on the way

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

tina meditation the force of time

the force of time

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 10

as long as strange things
have not been mentioned by name
they seem unreal
as long as no one has heard of them
it is easy to deny them

when something has been thought over however,
when something has been spelled out and pinned down,
then the switch has been flipped
there is nothing that can hold the force back

years ago I started a whole new process –
time
grating grinding polishing time
now takes over from me

I am wondering what it will produce

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

MEDITATIONS

  • the force of time
  • I accuse women
  • I accuse men
  • my inner struggle
  • past present future
  • my dream
  • and God saw that it was very good
  • phallus worship
  • on the way

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

tina meditation evolving identity

evolving identity

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 8

I was
the wife of my husband
the mother of my children
more I could not be
I was a woman

I was
resigned to my condition
to my unused talent
more was not asked of me
I was a woman

but I am
one human being among other human beings
I have my own task
I can do so much as a human being
as a woman

yes I was
as God’s image a mother
a beloved partner and friend —
now a new woman has grown from my old self

 

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

MEDITATIONS

  • the force of time
  • I accuse women
  • I accuse men
  • my inner struggle
  • past present future
  • my dream
  • and God saw that it was very good
  • phallus worship
  • on the way

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

Tina meditation irrepressible energy

irrepressible thrust in me

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no  6

out of the security of my small little world
I was rudely shaken and woken up
irrepressibly a thrust flamed up in me
to understand myself anew

imprisoned in the chaos of my fear
I had to free myself from my own self
so chained as I was to people around me…
I had to be free for
he/she–who-is

I, so chained as I was
at my roots and crown

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

MEDITATIONS

  • the force of time
  • I accuse women
  • I accuse men
  • my inner struggle
  • past present future
  • my dream
  • and God saw that it was very good
  • phallus worship
  • on the way

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

Tina meditation male and female

male and female

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 4

 

from where emerged that vision
of the superiority of the male?
on what ground did he claim the privilege
of dominating the whole of creation?
who granted him the right?
who gave it a name?
who knows the reason why?

from where arose that vision
of the inferiority of the female?
on what did she ground her duty
to be subservient to the man?
who imposed this obligation on her?
who gave it a name?
who knows the reason why?

from when I was young I learnt the vision
that people are marked to be like God
that it was God’s breath that aroused their love
through which they equally share the privilege and duty
of caring for creation; of preserving life
is this not the task God imposed?
was it not God who enabled us
for us to act as one?
is that the reason why?

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

MEDITATIONS

  • the force of time
  • I accuse women
  • I accuse men
  • my inner struggle
  • past present future
  • my dream
  • and God saw that it was very good
  • phallus worship
  • on the way

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.

Tina meditation me broken in pieces

me broken in pieces

NEW WOMAN – ME!  no 3

 

as cascading heavy snowflakes
disturbing thoughts cover the floor of my being

I am struck down
with a broken image of my church
with an attempt to be heard that is doomed to fail
with feeling paralysing injustice
with light without warmth
and life without structure

my God, where shall I turn?

© Tina van Lieshout
translation John Wijngaards

MEDITATIONS

  • the force of time
  • I accuse women
  • I accuse men
  • my inner struggle
  • past present future
  • my dream
  • and God saw that it was very good
  • phallus worship
  • on the way

Tina van Lieshout was a Dutch Catholic woman who felt called to the priesthood. Her diocese refused her admission to the priestly formation programme which she challenged in high-profile court cases. She lost. Being both a gifted artist and poet, she described her despair in a series of paintings and meditations. But she also expressed through them her determination to realise her potential as a free and equal person.  Her work was published in the Dutch book Ook in de Naam van de Moeder en de Dochter [= ‘Also in the Name of the Mother and the Daughter’], Wilco, Amersfoort 2000. She died in 2010.